Podcast: Emma’s heart is half in Jamaica and half in England

Image made on Canva Pro by Ameya Nagarajan for Global Voices

“Where Are You REALLY From?” is a podcast series from Global Voices that emerged from a panel at the December 2024 Global Voices summit in Nepal, where members of the Global Voices community shared their experiences of dealing with other people's perceptions about their diverse and complex origin stories. In each episode, we invite our guests to reflect on the assumptions that lie behind the question, “But where are you really from?” and how they respond.

The podcast is hosted by Akwe Amosu, who works in the human rights sector after an earlier career in journalism and is also a coach and a poet.

The transcript of this episode has been edited for clarity.

Akwe Amosu (AA): Hello, and welcome to Where Are You Really From? A podcast that explores identities. I'm Akwe Amosu, and today I'm speaking to Emma Lewis. Welcome, Emma.

Emma Lewis (EL): Thank you very much. Nice to be here.

AA: Emma, why do people ask you that question?

EL: It depends where I am, of course. People ask me that question because they hear my voice and they connect that question with my accent. And in Jamaica, where I live, I sound very, very British. So people, tease me about my Britishness and all that. Although, I have lived here for 38 years. And when I tell them that, there's sort of a different reaction. They say something like, “Oh, well, you're Jamaican then.” That's a common reaction I get. So I think people ask me because they're a little confused. They get the feeling that I live here, sort of long-term. But, I'm not Jamaican. I have this sort of aura of Britishness around me still, I suppose.

AA: You seem local, but you don't sound it.

EL: Right. That's it.

AA: What does it feel like to be asked this question? How do you feel about people wanting to understand that?

EL: I think I understand sometimes there's this question, “Where are you from?” And sometimes people just ask it because they genuinely don't know, or it's just something to say. I don't feel I don't feel any way about it. I don't mind, in other words. It doesn't bother me because it's a way of getting to know people. Although, oddly, I very rarely ask that question of other people. I just don't ask that question myself. I don't think it matters.

AA: I want to know more about that, but before I ask you about that, I'd love to know what your preferred answer would be. Like if somebody says, “Where are you from?” Or “Where are you really from? You don't sound Jamaican.” What do you want to tell them?

EL: I want to tell them where I was born, which was in London, UK. And then I tell them, well, I've been living here for… It's close to forty years now. And so I am both British and Jamaican in many ways. So I tell them that, and they understand because maybe our island is peculiar, but with the migration to and from the island, there's a lot of people who can say that they've got one foot in one country and another foot in another, or they've got family over there and some over here and so on. So it's not a difficult concept for people to grasp.

AA: What do you think is going on in the minds of somebody who wants to ask it? What's behind the question?

EL: I think, as I said, it's a way of getting to know you. And I think it's also… It depends on the context, but I think it's also a way of sort of placing you so that they can sort of continue with a conversation at a certain level, if you know what I mean. So sometimes it's not just chit chat. I feel it's for a particular purpose.

AA: And are you completely comfortable with that? I mean, do you feel fine about them just inquiring until they've got you located?

EL: Yeah, I don't mind really. I must say, because it happens so often, that I'm used to it. At first, it was kind of disconcerting because people thought I was a tourist. And if I go to a tourist resort, obviously, I look like a tourist to everyone, so that's a different story. And that is very strange and uncomfortable sometimes.

Emma by the sea at Black River. Photo by Neville Lewis. Used with permission.

AA: So coming back to that point that you made about not asking that question yourself, why do you think that is?

EL: Because I feel it doesn't necessarily make the person who they are. I mean, it's a part of who they are, but it's not perhaps always the most important part. And I also want to know about them at a different level. So I try to find out more about them in terms of who they are. Because I think that I talk to them… I don't like to ask that question because I talk to them at a person-to-person level, not an English person to a Jamaican person or an English person to an American person. I talk to them, if that makes sense, at a human-to-human level.

AA: Yes, it does make perfect sense. I'm curious though, when you want to know something about the people that you meet and you want to learn more, what's the right, for you, what's the right way to ask that question?

EL: Oh, to ask something related to their experience. For example, I might say, “So you lived in Rome for a while” or something, because it would come up in a conversation rather than upfront, “Where are you from?” And again, I feel that people might be just a little uncomfortable with being asked that question straight up. So if it comes up in the conversation and the experiences and so on of our own experiences, each of us, then I try to weave it in and find out more about them that way.

AA: So, it's more about what they do and less about where they come from.

EL: Yes, yes, exactly. And where they are now. I mean, they might be here in Jamaica, and I would prefer to hear about what they're doing here and now rather than going back to, “Oh, well, my grandmother was English,” or that kind of thing. And so that's the way I approach it.

AA: Is there anything you'd like to add about this whole identity issue?

EL: Yes. I mean, identity to me is partly about place. Well, my husband and I had an interesting experience last year when we visited the UK and we went for quite a long time. My husband was born here in Jamaica, but we grew up in England. He grew up in England, and so did I. And it was quite interesting because I felt that, oddly, I felt that I wasn't, I didn't feel very English when I was over there. I didn't feel so British as I did when I was over here. And in fact, one person said to me, “Oh, are you Australian?” And I said, no. And again, they were trying to figure out my accent, which people over here think is very British. But when you go over there, they pick up something.

AA: You can hear something different.

EL: Yeah. So it was quite strange. And we began to realize then that our heart, well, identity is sort of where your heart is. And my heart is in Jamaica. I've lived here for so long in the same place. And it's comfort. It's total comfort. But the other part of me is still British. And when I go over there, I pick up all these little cultural things, and I feel really happy. I wrote in my piece that there are two parts, your heart has two chambers, and, for me, my heart is half in England and half in Jamaica, and it probably always will be, wherever I live, it will be the same, I think. That's just it.

AA: Thank you, Emma.

EL: You're welcome.